i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
