Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
