When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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