dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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