So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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