I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
