Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
