i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sorry about my life...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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