There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
