He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We are all done wearing pants today
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
