i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
