For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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