I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
