I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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