my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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