his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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