If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
