so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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