so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
