Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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