I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
