sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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