still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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