Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
