you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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