he shaved USA in his pubs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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