i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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