Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
