after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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