Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
