Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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