carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
