it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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