It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
