the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
