Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
