Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize