So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
