the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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