Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
