Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
