I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am spending my child support on dildos
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
