We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
