Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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