I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
