Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
