I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
