You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I will pee on everything he values.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
