i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
