I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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